


No one's gonna do it for you.

by 100percentjazzedtomeetyou



Category: Sam & Cat (TV)
Genre: F/F, basically a re-write of that tuna episode, but gay, or more gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-14 15:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11210913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100percentjazzedtomeetyou/pseuds/100percentjazzedtomeetyou
Summary: Re-write of #TheKillerTunaJump.Sam and Cat have been dancing around each other for a while now, not quite understanding how they feel but knowing they'd do anything to keep each other safe and happy. For Cat, that even meant jumping a motorcycle over a 21ft (she was sticking with that guess) tank of man-eating Tuna fish from somewhere in the South. Sometimes, it takes a little fighting, a few difficult conversations with some questionable ex's, and a bit of danger to shake some sense into people.





	1. Not murder?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Somehow I ended up here, writing this in 2017. We can blame Netflix.  
> This episode is the most adorable but could have been even more adorable without the ending up with Robbie and Freddie conclusion (even though younger me probably would have been happy with the Sam and Freddie stuff) BUT NOT TODAY INTERNET, not my gay self! So here's a few chapters of Sam and Cat figuring themselves out and discovering or just accepting what they really mean to each other.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> ((p.s. I haven't watched Victorious in many years, so I'm sorry if anything is off with characterisation etc and also not really acknowledging the Cat/Robbie relationship because I don't really remember it......))

They made eye contact as they looked up from a non-conscious Cat on the floor. No one moving quite yet to begin to help or wake her up.  
“So…” Jade began, “you live here? Like with Cat, for real?”, tilting her head questioningly.  
“And you’re friends with Cat? Really?” Sam replied, equally confused. Jade just nodded, frowning slightly. “Wow, I guess she really takes that ‘odd couple dynamic’ thing seriously huh?” Sam quipped rolling her eyes.  
She walked over toward Cat, looking her over to make sure nothing looked broken or uncomfortable before turning back to Jade,  
“Wanna see how much virtual pain we can make happen?” she asked with a smirk.  
“Sure”, Jade shrugged in response, stepping over Cat on her way to their bedroom.  
Cat fainted a lot, plus she was stronger than she looked, Sam reasoned with herself as she started up the console. She didn’t want Jade to think she wasn’t cool or anything as she could tell from just a few seconds of meeting her that the emotionless girl standing before her would think she was the hugest sap if she started picking Cat up and tucking her under a blanket like she usually did. She was sure when Cat woke up she’d be happy that her and Jade seemed to be getting along, and that was all that mattered right now. Sam was kind of sad she hadn’t really had the chance to meet any of Cat’s friends, she had mentioned it once or twice, but hadn’t pushed it after Cat had made up so many extravagant excuses to ward her off. They were impressive stories so Sam just figured there was a valid reason why, even if it was that she was just embarrassed of her or something.  
  
“This is quite the room you’ve got yourselves here” Jade commented standing with one foot on each side of the dividing line of the bedroom.  
“Yeah,” Sam laughed, “we’re a little different if ya couldn’t tell”.  
“Oh, I could tell.” Jade looked at her incredulously, “Plus, ever since you turned up and Cat started going on and on about this wild girl who saved her from garbage and let her ride on the back of a motorcycle to the point where she told us she’d actually convinced you to stick around, despite you ‘totally not getting most of the fun stuff in life’, her words, we figured there was something weird going on here” she trailed off, looking around again, “I don’t know how you deal with her with all those nightmares though, I’ve been forced into a couple of sleepovers with her before, and they, and the subsequent hugging, are not cool”.  
“Oh, umm, she does talk about me then?” Sam murmured, mostly to herself in surprise, but Jade frowned and nodded a response anyway. She had heard barely anything about Cat’s friends other than when she was complaining about some project or how someone had been especially mean to her, the mean ones were who Sam wanted to meet the most, she had a weapon ready and tucked away especially for them.  
“And the nightmares aren’t that bad, I mean, I guess I’ve just gotten used to her waking me up by jumping into my bed, or me waking up and finding out she was already in my bed. Pretty normal around her now.” Sam finished, handing a comically oversized baton to a slightly suspicious looking Jade.  
“Yeah, she talks about you a lot, but she did stop inviting people over which was strange, she’s usually up for as much ‘super fun friend time’ as she can get, once again, her words. That’s nice about the nightmares though, I guess. Cool.” She looked almost pained at the admittance of the word ‘nice’ from her mouth, but awkwardly cut herself off before she felt even more confused by all the feelings.  
“Let’s just start the pain”.  
“Agreed”.

When Cat woke up the first thing she heard was yelling coming from the direction of the bedroom. Panic. No! Jade and Sam are killing each other!  
“Ahhh! Jade and Sam are gonna kill each other!!” she shouted as she ran toward them. “No! Don’t bleed on my bed!” she continued as she reached the doorway.  
Oh.  
“Oh. You’re actually getting along?” Cat questioned.  
“Yeah…” Jade responded, “We’ve realised we have a lot in common" she counted on her fingers, "We both like pain,” Sam nodded along, “we both laugh when children cry, we both hate people”.  
“I hate ‘em more” Sam added jokingly knocking into Jade who was now sitting beside her.  
Cat’s eyes dropped to how close they were sitting, her smile wavering a little. She was confused. These feelings were confusing.  
“Oh, okay. That’s great.” She said, unconvincingly.  
“Wait, is that why you haven’t invited me over since she moved in?” Jade asked, “You thought we would hate each other." she questioned   
"Well, you are both anti-social misfits filled with anger and rage". Cat stated.   
"What did you think would happen?”  
“Murder.” She responded, blankly.  
She got laughed at.

The murder part was mostly true, but Cat had a few other feelings she was grappling with inside about why exactly she had stopped inviting anyone over since Sam had moved in. One being she didn’t really want to share her. She had found a great friend all by herself, and she already had to not see her all day when she was at school, and then be interrupted by children, as adorable as they were, when they were babysitting most evenings. She didn’t really want anyone else cutting in on their time together. Two, she was worried about what the others would say to Sam, or say to her about Sam, she didn't need fights and she didn’t want anyone to be mean to Sam just because she was a little strange and scary and liked meats way too much for a human that needed all parts of the food tiara, like how was she actually still living after regular Pizza and Root beer smoothie breakfasts she did not know. And four, she was worried someone might say something, something about how she looked at Sam sometimes for a bit too long. She knew it was too long because of how many times Sam had turned to her and said “What? Do I have meat juice in my hair again?” or “Is there a bug on my face, cause if there is get it so we can use it on that lumpatious guy next time he comes over!”. Cat didn’t want questions, she understood enough of what her mind was doing, but she didn’t want anyone to tell her it was wrong, that she had to stop. Because, like many things in her life, like many things her brain told her to do, she didn’t know how to stop, or even if she could. There wasn’t really anyone around her she felt like she could trust to talk to about how she was feeling, usually she would go to Sam, but with it being about her, well, that just wasn’t really going to work. She thought Tori or maybe Jade might understand, which was one of the reasons she was making this project more hands on than it needed to be, why she had invited herself over to Jade’s this weekend, she was hoping, and it could always go either way with Jade, that that day would be a good day, and she’d see a little bit of softer, greyscale Jade, rather than all black. That maybe she could make some hints and Jade might take a second to listen. Maybe. But now Sam had got a text and Jade were heading out the door, deciding to make plans, Jade was leaving her with all the work and Sam was thinking that was great. They were making jokes that Cat didn’t quite understand and laughing their way out their room. Okay.  
  
“Okayyy, here I come!” she mustered up some pep again and ran after them.


	2. Everyone has a plan.

Turns out she would have to continue to run after them all the way to the Tennessee Tuna as the motorcycle ride was now extended to Jade and not to her.  
“How come I’m the one who had to run behind the motorcycle?” she asked, exasperatedly as she struggled to catch her breath again.   
“Because Sam said I could ride on the back” Jade answered.  
“But don’t worry, on the way home I’m gonna let Jade drive” Sam added on.  
“And Sam will ride on the back” Jade jumped back in.  
“And then you can run behind us” Sam finished off.  
Confused and tired Cat just responded with an exasperated thank you and moved on to the the viewing of the Tuna.   
Which of course immediately resulted in Sam grabbing one from the tank with her bare hands, impressing everyone, especially Jade (to Cat’s annoyance) and threatening Dice with it.  
“What am I gonna do?” Dice whined, “Do you know how much money I’m gonna lose on these dumb fish!”  
“Hang on, hang on a sec,” Sam said, moving away from the tank a little, “How big would you say this tank is?”  
“Um, about 25 feet” Jade responded immediately. Nope, that would not do, no strange and mysterious planning and bonding through mysterious planning was going to happen without Cat’s input.  
“Well, I’d say it’s about 21 feet!” She countered, stepping down and toward Sam in protest.  
“Hey!” she was cut off before anyone could respond, as Sam looked at her slightly confused, “that tank is exactly 25 feet across, so the redhead is wrong!” some man with half a corndog up on top of a truck shouted down at her. Yeah, sure everyone was out to get her and make her life miserable today. For Sam’s credit she didn’t interact, but maybe she was too caught up in whatever it was she was planning to really care, Jade on the other hand, gave her a smug look she was so accustomed to that it almost didn’t sting at all.  
Sam was just about to tell her plan to Dice. Cat gently tugged on her arm to try and get her attention, be involved a little more, other than that confused look she had been getting ignored far too much for her liking.   
“That’s crazy!”  
“I love it.”  
“It’s perfect!” Came the responses from Cat, Jade and Dice, to Sam’s ‘let’s jump over the tank in a motorcycle and charge people inordinate amounts of money for it’ plan.  
“I’m on board.” Cat quietly reworked her answer after hearing the others enthusiasm, not wanting to be seen as the uncool one, when Sam seemed to be loving the blasé, risk taking nature of this whole day and the people in it.  
“But wait, who are we gonna get to jump over it?” Dice asked.  
“Pshh, me!” was the answer that came from Sam.  
“For real!?”   
“What, no! I am not gonna let you jump a motorcycle over a tank full of 1200 pounds of dangerous tuna fish from Nebraska!” Cat immediately retracted her ‘on board’ comment from before. Nope, this was not happening!  
“From Kansas.” Jade corrected.“You’re from Kanas!!” Cat turned on her only violently. Sam gently took her arm and pulled her back around to face her.   
“It’s fine, I’ve made jumps almost as far as that before.” She said, trying to calm Cat down.  
“Over dangerous tuna? No!” she shouted back.  
“Dude, you gotta settle-“ Sam started but was interrupted by Jade. Jade could tell that this wasn’t going to get resolved by a few attempts of calming from Sam. She had only seen a look like that in Cat’s eyes a couple of times before, and those were not situations that she had gotten out of easily. When Cat cared for someone, and she made up her mind, there was no way it was going to be rectified without someone getting hurt along the way. Usually Cat herself.  
“Hey, hey! What about the Dirty Skipper?” was Jade’s suggested alternative, which seemed to go down well with the others. Cat didn’t know who this filthy man was but as long as it meant Sam was out of harms way she was all over it. Turns out Jade, on the other hand, was all over having lunch with Sam as Cat’s failed attempts to get them to all go eat together was swept up in the motorcycle’s exhaust fumes she was now choking on. The man on the truck had to get in some last words to put her down too as she stood once again confused and left behind, aside from all the tuna fish, but they’d already had Sam’s sandwich for lunch.

Sam was trying her best to get along with Jade, and honestly they did have a lot in common, so it wasn’t all that hard. Thus the pact that she had made with herself long ago about promising to get along with Cat’s friends for her if she did ever get to meet them wasn’t that difficult to keep after all. She had to make sure though, so after seeing the tuna, her and Jade headed for lunch, and then lunch led into the movies. Truly Cat wouldn’t have liked the film, but, although she would never admit it, she did miss the terrified hugs and Cat hiding her head in her neck as she usually would when she let Sam pick the movie, once in a throbbing moon. She had realised pretty early on that she liked being the one to comfort Cat, when ‘That’s a Drag’ had been cancelled and when that stupid rapper guy had been mean to her, she just knew from her gut reaction to them, that she would do anything to keep that smile on Cat’s face. She meant it when she had said she hated most people, but liked her.


	3. Invitations and Suspicions: Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I apologise for the shortness and kind of boring nature of these chapters, I don't really like them all that much...  
> I promise they will get more in depth and actually more interesting in the next few. These have felt very introductory and too close to canon for my liking, so after this chapter we get some introspection, some Jade and Sam friendship kinda emotional bonding times and a little more that moves the romantic possibilities for Sam and Cat along. Thanks for reading!

Cat walked into Bots with Nona and Dice the next day when she saw Sam and Jade sitting at their usual table with plates already in front of them.  
“Go sit at that table,” she nodded to her companions, “I got business”.   
She fixed her hair, moved the strap of her purse back up her arm and marched toward the girls at the front of the restaurant.   
‘Oh, hi!” she greeted, none of her usual airy sweetness present.  
“Hey”  
“Sup” were the all too casual responses she received.   
“Sup!?” she paused to stare them down, “Sup is that you guys forgot to invite me to your little get together!”  
“No, we were just about to text you.” Cat looked down at their plates full of food and empty glasses.  
“Yeah, j-just about? I also notice I wasn’t invited with you guys to go to the movies last night either!” she was upset, that was clear to see. Jade was mostly confused, Cat had never had this kind of reaction when other friends of her’s had hung out together, in fact in their usual group most people hung out in different variations all the time without any drama, so Jade was missing something here, and getting increasingly suspicious about everything she had missed recently going on with Cat since her invites over had drastically decreased. Sam knew Cat was upset yes, but she didn’t quite understand, she thought she would have been happy to see her getting on so well with her friend, like, wasn’t this what was supposed to happen. Like when you were in a relationship with someone and the girl introduces you to her friends you were supposed to—— wait, um, what was that thought Sam. Umm, maybe lets move away from that place asap. She shook herself out of wherever that dangerous sounding track was and called Cat back over following her spider related birthday cake rant.  
“Wait, come back! Hang out with us, sit down!”  
“Oh, no thank you.” was the slightly condescending, slightly aggressive response she got.

After sitting through a lunch filled with fake laughter and a few moments where she was sure she offended everyone she was sitting with. Cat did end up getting some advice from Nona she could use. She might have twisted her words a little when she said that Sam had stole Jade from her and that was the problem, maybe it felt a little bit more like the other way round, that Jade had stole Sam, but I guess it was both really, although she was worried that once Sam realised that Jade was so much cooler than her, that moving out would only be the next logical step. Surely she would have much more fun elsewhere. Her kind of fun that is.   
But anyway, Nona’s stealing friends advice was the only thing she had to go on to try and sort out this situation. She could try and talk to them both, or one of them, sure, but Cat felt like she would say something wrong, that she’d get too into her feelings and then maybe she’d scare them both away. That she’d say something too weird and that’d be that. So as much as she felt a little bad doing what she was about to do. She did want someone to hang out with, someone maybe more around her age than these two who had nothing but their own stories and problems to talk about and were not exactly the best at listening, and she did want to do anything she could to get back to the status quo they had before. Sure Jade and Sam could be friends, but did that really mean she had to go. Did she mean that little to them?

Cat had considered her plan throughout the day, and although she felt all kinds of antagonistic toward Sam she wasn’t sure that it was the right decision. Sam didn’t speak all that much about her past in Seattle, apart from the super strange or super strange but supposedly somewhat fun times, and all those could mainly be seen online anyway. She had almost talked herself out of it when Sam wandered into the room announcing a surprise shower and the fact that Jade had mentioned going to karaoke with her later. That was taking it too far. Karaoke had always been her and Jade’s thing. They killed it.   
She thinks she made it clear how she was feeling with the suggestion of the song ‘Who Needs Cat?” as their opening number, but Sam’s exasperated, pity invite that followed was not something she enjoyed hearing. So Cat brushed them off again, knowing that maybe she was making it worse for herself, but not knowing how else to deal. She had Nona’s advice and for once she was going to listen to her elders and take it.

So she grabbed Sam’s phone once she was in the shower and she made a call. She wasn’t exactly proud of it, but what else was she gonna do. The broken buttocks was maybe a tiny bit too far. But Benson, Freddie was on his way and she was all kinds of flustered.

That had probably been one of the strangest introductions to a person Freddie had ever experienced, but after spending an afternoon with a flirty Cat Valentine who had made him try on so many different hats that he now wasn’t all that convinced that she hadn’t invited him here to cast his head in bronze as a hat stand, that or decapitate him for some kind of thing he didn’t think he would ever understand. He didn’t know much of Sam’s and Cat’s relationship, in fact, the first he had heard of Sam even having a roommate was that phone call last night. It wasn’t that he and Sam didn’t talk, they did sometimes, by sometimes he means about once every 2 months, and usually via text. That’s why he had been so surprised to get a phone call off her, that wasn’t like Sam at all. He and Sam had a complicated relationship, they definitely meant a lot to each other, but there had been some revelations down the line as they had got older which meant that that caring pretty much stopped at the friendship mark. He was still very unclear about why he had been summoned to LA by the overly peppy Cat who he could not for one second imagine Sam interacting with in any other way than violently. Now, speaking of Cat, she was now fake laughing so loudly in his face that he was worried he had zoned out so much that he must have completely embarrassed himself in some way.   
“I-I didn’t say anything funny?” he mumbled as Cat continued her noise. Now looking around in an awkward manner he glanced over her shoulder and saw Sam sitting at a table at the back of the restaurant with a very intimidating looking girl. Then, before he could even really process seeing her again after all this time she was suddenly standing in front of him.

“Oh! Look who it is!” Cat chirped  
“Sam, hi!” he started to get up to attempt to hug her but was aggressively pushed back into the booth by a Sam that seemed less than happy to see him.   
“What are you doing? What is happening-what is she- what is happening here?!” Sam questioned, angry and flustered by the situation presented to her.  
Freddie tried to explain, he didn’t get to try long—  
“Freddie, this is my friend Jade,” Cat introduced calmly, completely dismissing Sam and all the waving back and forth that she was doing in confusion. “Jade, how cute is my new friend Freddie?” Cat looked far too pleased with herself in this moment and none of the people who were surrounding her really knew how to take it. Seemingly innocent Cat looking smug and devious was not something they ever expected to see.  
“Yeah, he’s a pretty little chunk of boy” Jade responded.   
Yep, she was definitely terrifying, Freddie concluded, definitively.  
After an awkward conversation Cat informed them the tour they were now scheduled to go on of LA’s freeways was set to be leaving now and they were on their way without so much as a chance to state one sentence of explanation to Sam.   
This was all getting stranger by the minute.


	4. Invitations & Suspicions Part 2

Sam and Jade were left in the booth. Jade was giving her a look, questioning. 

“Can you believe Cat?!” Sam started, “she’s jealous of you and I hanging out that she made my friend Freddie come to LA just to bug me!” She groaned.

“Okay, I am getting the strong feeling that you and Freddie used to date?” Jade’s suspicions were confirmed at the slight flinch, slight blush that Sam gave in response to that question. 

“Okay, yeah, yeah I guess he was. Not that big of a deal, we were together at one point yes, but things happened, we grew up a little bit and we, well I, I guess, realised that it maybe wasn’t going to work out”. Sam trailed off a little, not making eye contact.

“Alright…” Jade drawled, a little confused, “so, you’re ex’s but it wasn’t a bad breakup, but you’re still angry?”

“Uh, yeah, something like that.” Sam evaded. Jade wasn’t convinced, but she wasn’t going to push, she hadn’t known Sam all that long, but she could tell that she wasn’t someone who shared all that much information about herself freely, or at all really. She could respect that, a little mystery, a little drama, she was all about it. So for now she wouldn’t push, not unless she felt that Sam was slipping too much into herself, and now, without the peppy forceful nature of Cat to bring her out of it, she guessed that role would have to go to her.

Jade decided to move the conversation along, to help put Sam out of her misery in this topic and with the broader Cat and Freddie related one.

“Well, where I come from, and that is a dark, dark place, we don’t get mad at people, we get even”. Jade said, with a raise of one of her perfect eyebrows.

Jade had told her who to make a date with to get back at Cat for everything with Freddie. Sam had had a rather negative reaction to the photo of Robbie she saw, not that she was technically trying to be mean to him, but she couldn’t really understand the fact that Cat supposedly had feelings for him, had ‘had a crush on him forever’, according to Jade. Yet Sam had never even seen or heard of him, yet another part of Cat’s life she had no clue about. Great. 

Sam was so muddled with the turn of events today had taken. She was reeling from seeing Freddie after all this time, and as for the flirtatious nature of Cat toward him, well that was something else altogether. She wasn’t sure which part of it all hurt her more…. well actually maybe she did, anything related to romance and Cat and someone else, that was the worst feeling. Maybe she was hiding from it a little less. Only a little, just to try and understand herself a tiny bit more. At least to get them out of this strange estranged situation they had ended up in. She was reluctant to get deeper involved, to call this Robbie person and deal with all that. She wasn’t the biggest fan of actually doing things after all, and she would have much rather spent this weekend making a little money, seeing a movie with Jade and Cat, jumping over a tank of Tuna and calling it a day with a bucket of chicken and some crap TV, but here she was, getting herself more and more invested in this mess while trying to fix her relationship- friendship- with Cat. Well, she thought, best just get this over with as quickly and as painless as possible.

 

 

Robbie wasn’t the most normal person she had ever met. No, he was so far from normal that even her, with all her entire life experience being greatly involved in ‘not normal’, didn’t really know how to deal with him. She just sat him down and let him entertain himself for the most part. She was still majorly in the confusion part of the fact that Cat liked him, well, she supposed she could see some similarities, but Cat, in her humble opinion, was so far out of his league she had to stop herself from actually laughing out loud every time she pictured them trying to be in a relationship together. These images gracing her mind mainly involved Robbie acting like an idiot and Cat being too kind to say anything, or even, in her worst nightmare imaginary situations, Cat just going along with it and them becoming this strange colourful puppet couple who didn’t last long out in the real world. Sam didn’t think anything was wrong with Cat per say, she just thought she deserved better, someone who wouldn’t treat her like a child all the time, and she could tell from the way that Robbie talked about her that he wasn’t about to get her out of her comfort zone and really help her be the best she could be. He liked her sure, and he was probably harmless, regardless of the visions of them attempting to live in a real-life gingerbread house as husband and wife she was having. But Robbie wasn’t right for her. Come on now. She knows Cat, or at least she’d like to think she does, and no, nope this was not going to do.

She zoned back in to Robbie picking up a guitar, and just as she was about to actually tackle him to get him to stop (guitars were one of the most fun things to smash to pieces) Cat and Freddie walked in the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for this being so short, I don't know why I've been finding this one so hard to write. I promise I'll get it fixed in my brain soon and we'll get some longer and actual quality chapters. There's probably only a few more left, I'll take it a little further than the Tuna episodes, but yeah, gonna be a short series here! Thanks so much for reading though, I'm loving the comments about nostalgia I'm getting on tumblr, I feel you guys! -G
> 
> tumblr: 100percentjazzedtomeetyou

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr: 100percentjazzedtomeetyou :)


End file.
